alas I cannot swim
E X C U S E M E
YOU ARE E LIST MOTHER FUCKER. IM # FUCKING 1 AND YOURE THROWIN SHADE AT ME??? YOU BETTER FALL THE FUCK BACK WITH YOUR DAD MUSTACHE LOOKIN LIKE YOU HAVIN A MID LIFE CRISIS WEARING SHORTS AND A SNAPBACK. EVEN BLACK MACKLEMORE OVER THERE ON THE LEFT GIVIN THAT SIDE EYE AT YOUR SHITTY OUTFIT. IRRELEVANT ASS BITCH.
7/18/14: Jonathan Toews is sleepy (but not too sleepy to discuss his ambitious plans to Take A Selfie with an enraptured audience) [X]ETA: Fixed the text a little. Many, many thanks to pksubbans for figuring out what Tazer was saying in the first GIF! ♥